Several months ago Shane and I were sorting through stuff in the basement and found Ethans UpSeat. It used to be Ethans primary seat for being at the table with us. We looked at each other, thinking about whether we keep it for him to use – unsure if he’d ever actually get to use it – or if we should get rid of it right there and then.
We decided to re-evaluate in October.
To see where he’s at.
While completely emptying the basement for our Reno’s it reappeared. Little sticky note and all.
I cheated today.
It’s not October yet, but close enough.
I was curious.
We said that if he’s not ready to use it by October we’ll get rid of it as we’re trying to minimize as much as possible (to make room for all the extra gear he needs 😅)
I put him in it, and while he was excited about it, he’s not ready.
I don’t even know how to feel about it.
He’s made so much progress.
And I’m grateful for that.
He’s much more stable in it than he was a few moths ago, and I’m grateful for that too.
So part of me doesn’t even know why it makes me sad.
Probably because he used it so effortlessly even on December 17th for breakfast, and hours later was stripped of his ability to use it, even 10 months later, and for who knows how much longer.
It’s another harsh reminder of our reality.
It’s this mixture of gratefulness and grief.
I’ve been trying to pass on the stuff that we cannot use anymore and that brings these confusing feelings. We need as much positivity as we can get.
So, our trusty UpSeat will find a new home