Today is one of those “missing the way things could have and should have been” days.He’s making some great progress, and we’re super grateful to get to watch him make that progress, don’t get me wrong, but things SHOULD be different.
Timothy picks up on it too. He quite often says he wishes Ethan could ______. That if Ethan didn’t have his brain injury he would be able to _______. That he wishes Ethan never had his brain injury so they could _________. Your babies aren’t supposed to step back in their milestones. Some of the things he could do effortlessly over a year ago now seem so far out of reach
He should be walking, talking, running, maybe even eating. We worked so hard to get to where we were, and he was doing beautifully. Crushing milestones. We will continue to work hard, to get back whatever we can. And he is doing beautiful, it just all looks so very different. In 1.5 months we’re going to hit the 1-year mark. As that time creeps closer, emotions run higher.
I wish there was a way I could go back and yell at myself, tell myself to watch out, that life is about to change forever. But I can’t, so here we are. And here I find myself, getting waves of could have been, should have been. And it sucks.