Motherhood is tough. So many things to keep track of, little people to worry about, bills to stay on top of and that doesn’t even begin to cover the things you want to do. Remember when you used to do stuff just for fun? Just hours and hours of things because you felt like it?
Add health complications and there are days it’s hard to keep your head above water. Don’t get me wrong, there is tremendous value and reward in raising children with special needs, but it is hard. It’s hard to find the energy. It’s hard to find the light sometimes. To be a mother of kids with special needs, you have to be some kind of supermom.
You aren’t going to feel like it a supermom most of the time. You are going to feel like a failure sometimes and barely treading water other times. But, to even accomplish what other moms do is a feat. You can’t afford some of the luxuries other moms do, so how do you cope with all the things being thrown at you?
Key leaders in the business industry often talk about their insane focus. They narrow in on a sole task and push away any other “multitasking” that would slow them down. Avoid being distracted by unnecessary things when you are in the midst of a task—give it your whole focus. The more you can focus on a sole task, the better you will be able to perform. It won’t always be possible, but it can help you be more efficient throughout the day.
Know Your Why
Many who excel are after a why and not a what. You don’t need to know what the next step is—sometimes that isn’t even possible—but you do need to know what is motivating you. When you can define the why, you will have something to cling to. Sometimes steps are painstakingly small. Sometimes there are major setbacks or standstills. Focusing on the why over the what also helps reduce some of the anxiety that comes with loss of control. We love our children, and sometimes that is all we have to cling to in their journey.
Keep a Mantra
Power of mind is everything. Don’t fall for the good or bad moments. Instead, keep going with a mentality set on winning. Pick a mantra and remind yourself of that truth no matter what else is happening. Many pick Bible verses or short, uplifting quotes. A few simple and powerful mantras for moms are:
- This too shall pass
- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
- No grit, no pearl
- Love over fear
- One day at a time
- Celebrate every step
- I am not alone
“You never know how strong you are until strong is the only option left.” Mantras will remind you of truth when it’s hard to see through the fog. Just pick the ones that speak to you because everyone will be drawn to different reminders.
Lean on Those Around You
People care, but sometimes it can be really hard to accept their help. Build up a village of people willing to support you in their own ways. Some may help monetarily with bills or meals. Others may be moral support, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to. Some can offer knowledge and expertise (like your medical team), while others may be able to watch your kids or help with household chores.
When possible, be the positive light that builds up those around you, but also let those around you build you up. People will disappoint you, but they can also strengthen you and make the journey easier. You are not alone.
Sometimes the journey of life is scary and sometimes it is amazing. As a mom of kids with special needs, life is certainly a rollercoaster of experiences and emotions. It’s often different than you ever imagined. But the ride is worth it, so hold on tight.