It’s difficult to point out to a particular parenting style as being the best or another being the worst. Our children are different, with different needs and different challenges. The parenting style you use in your home might not work for someone else. The parenting journey is a continuous one and every day you are faced with different challenges that you have to deal with as a parent.
As we try to communicate with our kids, shaping them into model adults, there are some things we might say to them that might actually be counter-productive. In this article, we look at some of the things you should never say to your children.
1.‘What’s wrong with you?’
Sometimes anger gets the best of us when we are trying to drive a point home with our kids. It can be infuriating when you keep telling them to stop doing something over and over again. The rage might push you to wonder whether there is something wrong with them. Whilst you might be forgiven for thinking about that, uttering it round will do more damage than good. What the child reads is that there must be something wrong with them and this will lower their self-confidence.
2. ‘I could do that at your age’
It’s terrific that you could do whatever it is you could do when you were at the age of your kid. However, when you start rubbing it in on their faces when they fail, that is where you make a parenting mistake. Kids want to be judged on their own merit, not on what you could accomplish when you were their age. They have their own life to live anyway. Telling them that will only add to the pressure they have and this inhibits their growth and development.
3. ‘Who taught you this?’
When we observe our kids behaving in a way we do not approve, we are inclined to think that they have probably learnt that behavior from someone else. Before you ask them this question, it would be better to do your own investigations first. When you ask them who taught you this? You are inviting them to lay the blame for whatever they have done onto others. Let them own it by telling you why they did what they have done, without prompting them to blame other people.
4. ‘I do everything for you’
Of course you do! That’s your duty as a parent. However, if you keep repeating this phrase to your kid, they will develop a mentality that your life would probably be easier without them in the picture. They will start thinking that they might be a burden to you and this does not reinforce the fact that you love and support them unconditionally.
5. ‘Everything will be okay’
It’s good to give them hope at times but you should be realistic about it. Not everything will be okay and such is the way life is. You should not always shield your kids from what life brings their way. Let them learn how to be strong to be able to tackle the challenges they will face in life.